Hot/Dogs
Some come with sauce. Some come with paws.
Some are a flavour. Only one should be eaten.
A hot dog is a sausage.
A sausage can be a dog.
A dog can be hot.
Hot dogs is a game.
Being a hot dog is not good for any canine.
Dogs die in hot cars.
Disclaimer
A note about hot dogs
Sometimes we mean human food: sausages in buns.
Sometimes we mean dogs who are too hot and need shade, water and probably some ice.
Sometimes we mean Hot Dogs, the Pedigree Chums™ game flavour.
We do not mean heating up your dog’s food.
Pedigree Chums™ is an dog spotting card game. It is not food or pet food, not dog food, not a dog treat, There are not nuts in Pedigree Chums™.
The cards may contain dogs. Your dog may show interest in the dogs like it does with your hotdogs. This does not make them the dogs food. Please do not feed the cards to your dog, even if your dog appears to have understood the rules.
The serious bit
Now let’s talk about hot dogs
Not hot dogs in buns. Hot dogs. Dogs who are too hot.
This is where the joke stops being a joke.
A dog never died from missing a walk.
Dogs do die from being too hot.
A car is not a kennel.
It is an oven with cup holders.
If the pavement is too hot for your hand,
it is too hot for paws.
What do I do if my dog is hot?
Stop.
That is not a punchline. That is the answer.
Stop walking. Stop playing. Stop throwing the ball. Stop the errand. Stop assuming they are probably fine.
Move them somewhere cooler. Offer water. Get them off hot ground. Keep them calm. If you are worried, call a vet.
Signs of heatstroke in dogs
- 🥵 Heavy panting
- 🤤 Drooling
- 🫤 Weakness or confusion
- 🤮 Vomiting
- ⬇️ Collapse
- 😮💨 Breathing that looks or sounds wrong
A hot dog on the floor, panting hard and not acting right, is urgent.
Conditions are unlikely to affect most people, but pose real risks to dogs, who cannot sweat and cannot tell you they are struggling.
Walk earlier. Walk later. Carry water. Find shade. Keep the day boring. Boring dogs are alive dogs.
The whole population is potentially at risk. Dogs even more so. You can skip the midday walk. Your dog does not need a nice day out. Your dog needs not to become soup.
Avoid ball games, hot pavements, and the words “they’ll be fine.”
A severe risk to life, even for healthy individuals. For dogs, this is not a heat warning. It is an emergency.
No unnecessary walks. No hot cars. No quick errands. Keep your dog cool, shaded, watered, watched, and indoors. If you are worried, call a vet now.
For official guidance, see the RSPCA, Dogs Trust, and Blue Cross.
The edible kind
How do I cook hot dogs?
Carefully. And preferably without involving a dachshund.
Boil them, grill them, fry them, air-fry them, barbecue them, or warm them gently while staring into the middle distance wondering why dinner sounds like a pet emergency. This is the first kind of hot dog. It is food. It may involve mustard. It should not involve an actual dog.
Why are hot dogs called hot dogs?
Not because dogs are hot. Disappointing, perhaps.
Hot dogs are called hot dogs because sausages were once jokingly called dogs. A hot sausage became a hot dog. Then a dog shaped like a sausage became a sausage dog. Then language stood back and pretended this was normal.
What is a sausage dog?
A sausage dog is a dachshund. A dachshund is not a sausage. A sausage is not a dachshund. But put them in the same sentence and the English language starts chasing its tail.
Their real name is dachshund, from German meaning badger dog. They were bred with short legs and long bodies for going into burrows. Then Britain saw the shape and thought: sausage.
Instructions for tinned hot dogs
Where do you store your dogs? Store in a cool, dry place. Preferably not on the floor where the dog can reach them. The hot dogs, that is. Not the dogs. Although arguably both.
Once opened, empty unused hot dogs into a bowl, cover, and refrigerate. Consume within 2 days of opening. Do not refrigerate in the can. The can has done its job. Let it go.
Unused hot dogs can be frozen and consumed within 3 months. This is longer than most people keep leftovers and shorter than a dachshund grudge.
For best before end: See date on can end. The can end is the round bit. Yes, there are two of them. Check both if you are worried. One is a lid. One is a question.
Dachs + HundGerman. Dachs means badger. Hund means dog. Together: a dog bred to dig into badger burrows, low to the ground, long in the body, short in the leg. The Germans named it for its job. Sensible people, the Germans.This is not etymology anymore. It is a conga line. The dachshund started it. The English language was too polite to say no.
Do dogs prefer hot or cold food?
Some dogs like dinner slightly warmed because it smells more interesting. This is not because they are restaurant critics. It is because their nose is in charge and their nose has strong opinions.
Warm is fine. Hot is not.
If you warm your dog’s food, warm it gently, stir it, check it, and let it cool before serving. The aim is “smells nice,” not “fresh from the volcano.”
A few more questions
Why were sausages called dogs before hot dogs were called hot dogs?
Nobody is entirely sure, which is reassuring if you were worried etymology was an exact science. The best theory: in the 1800s, cheap sausages were sometimes suspected of containing dog meat. Rather than addressing the rumour, the name stuck. The sausage became the dog. Then someone warmed it up and we were off.
What food smells nicest to dogs?
Meat, fish, and anything you are currently eating. Dogs are not subtle. Their sense of smell is roughly 10,000 times stronger than ours, which means a tin of hot dogs from the next room smells, to a dog, approximately as loud as a brass band.
Can dogs eat the hot dogs I have left?
A tiny plain bit may not cause immediate disaster. But hot dogs are salty, processed, and made for humans. The dog looking at you wants them very much. The dog looking at you also wanted to eat a sock last Tuesday. Use your judgement.
Can my dog eat hot, hot dogs?
No. Hot food is genuinely dangerous for dogs. Their mouths and throats are not built for heat the way ours are. Let the hot dog cool completely first. Or just eat it yourself. There are plenty of actual dog treats available, and none of them are called hot dogs.
What are Hot Dogs made from?
The game? Dogs. Specifically: 54 unique dog breeds illustrated on playing cards. Also some rules, a lot of shouting, and one person who insists they saw the Golden Retriever in someone else's hand and cannot let it go.
Should I keep my dogs in the fridge?
The cards? No. They will go damp. The dogs? Also no. They will go unhappy. Fridge temperature for a dog is approximately the same as a walk in November without a coat. Technically survivable. Not recommended.
Pedigree Chums™ game flavour
Hot Dogs mode
In the original game, your hand is private. Your dogs are your dogs. Your secrets are your secrets. Hot Dogs mode is different.
Deal as normal.
Everyone briefly shows their cards to the table. Three to five seconds. Long enough to see. Short enough to panic.
Cards go face down again. From this point you can only look at your own hand.
You must recall which dogs were in each other’s hands. Your memory is now on its own.
When a dog appears, the fastest correct call wins. If you call wrong, everyone is allowed to look at you. Like a disappointed spaniel.
Hot Dogs is a memory test disguised as a shouting problem.
It is a bit like Snap. It is a bit like Pairs. It is a bit like looking into someone else’s kennel for three seconds and then being expected to act normal.
Questions this page has unfortunately made necessary
Why are hot dogs called hot dogs?
Not because dogs are hot. Hot dogs are called hot dogs because sausages were once jokingly called dogs. A hot sausage became a hot dog. Then a dog shaped like a sausage became a sausage dog. Then language stood back and pretended this was normal.
What is a sausage dog?
A sausage dog is a dachshund. A dachshund is not a sausage. A sausage is not a dachshund. But put them in the same sentence and the English language starts chasing its tail.
Why are dachshunds called sausage dogs?
Because look at them. Their real name means badger dog in German. They were bred with short legs and long bodies for going into burrows. Then Britain saw the shape and thought: sausage. This is unfair to dachshunds. It is also difficult to argue with.
Can dogs eat hot dogs?
Emotionally, your dog says yes. Should they? Hot dogs are made for humans. They can be salty, processed, and fatty. A tiny plain bit may not end the world for many dogs, but it should not become a habit. Your dog also wants to eat socks. We cannot let desire run the department.
Is it too hot to walk my dog?
Ask the pavement. If it feels too hot for your hand, it is too hot for paws. A dog never died from missing a walk. Dogs do die from being too hot.
Are dogs safe in hot cars?
No. Not for five minutes. Not with the window cracked. Not because you parked in the shade. Not because you are just popping in. A car is not a kennel. It is an oven with cup holders.
What is Hot Dogs mode?
Hot Dogs mode is a Pedigree Chums™ game flavour where everyone briefly shows their hand after the draw, then hides it again. From then on you can only look at your own cards. You must remember which dogs were in the other players' hands. It is fast, it is memory, and it makes everyone accuse Grandma of hiding a spaniel.
Is Hot Dogs mode like Snap?
Yes. But with homework. In Snap you react to what you can see. In Hot Dogs you react to what you think you remember seeing. That is worse. And therefore better.
Is Pedigree Chums™ dog food?
No. Pedigree Chums™ is a dog card game. It contains dog characters, dog jokes, and dog chaos. It does not contain dog food. Do not feed the game to the dog. Play the game. Feed the dog something else.
What is the best kind of hot dog?
The one in a bun. The one with mustard. The one that is not panting, drooling, wobbling, trapped in a car, standing on hot pavement, or wondering why humans have made summer everybody’s problem. The best hot dogs are not dogs.
A sausage can be a dog.
A dog can be a sausage.
A comma can move the joke.
Heat can move the ending.
Keep your chums cool.